i got this email from my wife today.  made me laugh for hours…  :)

“whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. 
if you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
if you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
if you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
if you give her a smile,  she’ll give you her heart.
she multiples and enlarges what is given to her.

so, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s@#t!“